


All I Want For Christmas Is A Present (and maybe You)

by Louis_Harry



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Banter, Christmas, Christmas Shopping, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-07
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-02-11 00:38:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12923577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Louis_Harry/pseuds/Louis_Harry
Summary: The whole idea started as a joke... and it was supposed to stay that way. But then a certain someone had to tell the gaffer about the glorious idea of playing secret santa with the whole team. And now Eric has less than a month to find the perfect present for his best friend (who he has a huge, embarrassing and secret crush on), time is running and life just won't stay still around him... at all.ON HIATUS





	1. How it all started...

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!♥ I'm back with a new story right around christmas time. I loooove this time of the year a lot and so I decided to write a fic about the Tottenham Hotspur Players playing Secret Santa and worrying about presents just like us normal people :D I actually got the idea at work and just jumped into it head first.  
> There will be a few chapters (don't ask how many.. idk myself) and I hope I'll have them all up this month but knowing myself I probably won't manage it.  
> English is not my native language so please excuse grammatical errors and spelling mistakes!!  
> Also: This is fiction and I don't own these people!
> 
> Last but not least a HUGE thanks to [JD](https://pummelpony.tumblr.com/) for reading over this and giving me so many great ideas!!♥♥

It all started as a joke. It was meant to stay a joke, just like the handshakes first were. Concerning them, Sonny and Dele had done everything in their might to establish the handshakes as something ‚normal‘, as something that every teammate was obliged to do. For, you know, team bonding or something like that. 

And despite the odds (teammates) not being in their favour they had really managed to make it work, although they had needed a lot of motivation, determination, a bit of force and sweat and a sprinkle of their persuasive power (or their irresistible charm as Sonny and Dele always said).  


Sometimes you just had to force someone, or more like everyone, to see the good in that seemingly dumb ritual which was watching 24 grown men exchange varying handshakes with their teammates.

The idea of playing Secret Santa or ‚Wichteln‘ as Sonny referred to it started the same way. One day, a group of players were enthusiastically discussing Christmas traditions and food after training. Sonny was, as usual, right in the midst of the circle, talking loudly and happily about his time in Germany and the traditions there:

„They have Weihnachtsmärkte everywhere!! I’m telling you: everywhere! A town could have a few thousand inhabitants but they gotta have a Weihnachtsmarkt. And there are always stalls with bratwurst, Glühwein, caramelized almonds, Spekulatius, gingerbread, Stollen! They have so many good things there and I’m kinda glad that the English don’t really have a lot of them… otherwise I’d be fat for sure.” A few of the boys laughed at that and shook their head, still confused as to why Sonny was telling them about Germany. 

“And” Sonny raised his voice again and made sure that all eyes were on him before continuing “they have **WICHTELN** … the best thing on earth!! I’m telling you!” This time Harry interrupted him: “Mate…what the actual fuck is Wichteln?” “Oh yeah… sorry! You lot don’t know that word. It’s basically Secret Santa but everyone calls it Wichteln and I had a hell of a lot of fun when I played it with my team back in Leverkusen”

********

Sonny stopped for a moment and then started again, a mischievous look on his face: “Weeeell and yesterday, when I couldn’t fall asleep at all, I had a fantastic idea!!! We, as in the whole team, are going to play Secret Santa this year! YAY!” He clapped his hands and was just about to start dancing when Jan interrupted him “Sonny… I’m gonna be honest with you: We’re way too old for that. The last time I played it I was 14 or 15!” The other players nodded in consent. 

“You’re all so old and boring” Sonny fake-sobbed while holding onto Dele, who started to pat his back in consolation. “I played it with Kevin last year and we didn’t care about our age. ‘Cause... you know what... age is just a number and I don’t care about that! And Kevin liked it too! We had so much fun… I miss him” He smiled at the memory and wished for Kevin to come back at the same time. 

He saw a few of his teammates exchanging weird looks on account of this. “Sonny that’s really cute and all but I’m like 100% sure that you can’t play secret santa with only two people.” Hugo threw in with a small smile. The other players started giggling at that and Dele, still close, nudged him while trying to wink. Sonny could only shake his head in sadness. 

He’d expected it to be a bit difficult to convince the lads but he didn’t think that there’d be this much resistance. Maybe he had to propose the idea to the gaffer and tell him what a great opportunity for team building it was. Poch would love it! And he would convince them.  
“I give up ok? I just thought it was a fun idea for us to get into the Christmas spirit but _apparently_ the English, the Welsh, the French, the Belgian and all the others don’t want that. Have a nice and boring evening and don’t forget to go to bed at 9PM… bye!” And with that, Sonny took off. 

“Huh… I think that’s the angriest he has ever been. I’m a bit shocked” Hugo said before picking up his bag and leaving with a “Tomorrow’s a new day. Everything’s going to work out. Please be on time for training and don’t stay up too late.” The rest of the boys all mumbled their goodbye but stayed quiet otherwise. Sonny’s little outburst had left them speechless. One after the other left the changing room with a goodbye, until only Dele and Eric were left. 

“Well… that was somethin’ else for sure. I don't really know what to say. But angry Sonny is scary jeez.” Dele broke the silence. “ Yeah I know. Thank god all of us are at least a bit used to getting shouted at. Otherwise there would've been tears” Eric answered with a small smile.

“Mhm... I just think that he really misses his best friend, you know. Kevin just went along with Sonny's ideas although some them were shit but he wanted to make him smile. And he was the only one who could get Sonny to calm down sometimes and yeah... Like I don't want to even imagine not seeing you nearly every day. We don't get what he's going through at the moment so maybe we should really consider the Secret Santa thing... to distract him from his sadness. I don't want to see sad Sonny EVER!” Dele came to a stop and searched for Eric's eyes to catch his reaction. 

Eric bit his lip and then started nodding slowly. “Yeah you're right Del. Christmas is the holiday of love and I think it just hits him more than before that it's just different without Kevin here. I don't know if that makes sense but yeah” He scratched at his neck and continued “And I agree with you. We gotta back him! I'm gonna talk to Jan and Hugo. And maybe you could talk to Harry and the youngsters... just advertise it a bit and tell them that sad Sonny is the start of the apocalypse or something like that” Dele smiled at that clapped his best friend on the back.

“Dier. Damn we're the best duo ever, ho-ho-holy shit” Dele started to cackle uncontrollably at his own “joke” and tried to prick Eric's side to get him to laugh as well. “Coooome on Eric! That was funny as hell and now I wanna listen to Mariah Carey for ten hours” Dele pulled at his hood with a pleading look. “You're insufferable Del. Let's just get you to your car so you can listen to 'All I want For Christmas Is You' on repeat. Without me.” 

"Oh yeah about that. I'm literally soso tired and I don't think I can drive. I'd be uhm... a threat to public safety I guess. Soo you wanna drive me home...please! Do it for the people who'd get in danger because of me. Do it for them, not for me.” Dele said in his most dramatic voice while putting on his best sad puppy face.  


“Urgh… if I have to. Come on let’s go kid” Eric groaned and held out his hand with a small smile. Dele grabbed it and swung their intertwined hands back and forth “Yayyy! And I hear your couch calling my name from here so I’m gonna invite myself over for a bit of fun” He winked over-exaggerated and started giggling. “Come on you vagabond. I’m too hungry and tired to argue with you right now. My bed and my boys need me” “Well, I need you too so thank you for inviting me!” Eric just sighed at that and made his way to his car. 

“Uhhh Eric back at it again with his farmer car! Give it up for Eric Dier.” Dele shouted at the nearly empty parking lot. “Just shut up and get in the back. The front is reserved for my boys” Eric laughed and opened the car door at the back. “Seeing as I’m one of your boys I’m allowed to sit in the front so shush” Eric could only look on as Dele got into the front seat, grinning proudly.

“I actually hate you just so you know” “I loooove you too” was sung back at him. He slammed the door close and got into the driver’s seat. Why did Dele always have to one-up him. And just how the fuck could Dele say these _**things**_ so easily, without even blinking or stuttering. Eric didn’t get it and that made him mad. 

During the drive home, they listened to Mariah Carey in silence. Dele was already dozing with his head on the window but not without a small smile playing on his face and Eric knew that Dele was just faking it to get Eric to carry him inside. He knew it. But that didn’t keep him from doing it nonetheless. He also knew that Dele would wheedle his way into Eric’s bed because _the couch was not that comfy and please get a new one if you don’t want me here in your bed Eric._

Of course Eric didn’t listen because one, he loved that couch a lot and two, he actually enjoyed their closeness a lot. He was, after all, a man with a huge and embarrassing crush on his best mate, which was shitty and sad but oh well… 

And as Dele fell asleep next to him, one of his hands resting on Eric’s arm, he prayed to God to just end him right then and there. And if God couldn't fulfil that wish then he should at least let them wake up with a bit of distance and not with Dele basically on top of him like last time. But that was another story...


	2. A long day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!!  
> Thank you soso much for the comments and kudos on here and the likes, reblogs and comments on tumblr!♥ They mean a lot to me and I hope you have fun with this chapter as well! I'd be very happy for feedback! 
> 
> Important: This chapter plays one day after the first chapter.

The next morning Eric woke up to Dele's warm body lying half on top of him. A few curls were tickling his right cheek and slow breaths were caressing his neck every few seconds. He heard the sound of paws plodding the floor outside his bedroom. His boys were already up, definitely waiting for their food and their morning walk.

But Dele was just such a comfortable and warm weight on top of him and waking up to him was like waking up in paradise. Okay, he was over-exaggerating but only a little bit. After a few more minutes he finally found the will to get up and cautiously removed himself from Dele's arms. He left the room, but not without stealing one last glance at Dele sleeping entailing nearly running into the door frame. He was so gone for this boy.

Eric took his dogs for a walk, the sky still dark and the air icy. He smiled at the thought of Dele still lying in his bed, probably hogging the blanket and the pillows, sporting cute little pillow lines on his cheeks, getting his smell all over Eric's bedding... and he really had to stop with thoughts like this. Now. This crush and the feelings that came with it were dangerous. They made him wish to wake up next to Dele everyday and that was bad. Very bad and not at all realistic as Dele was his best friend. Period.

Best friends were not supposed to develop crushes on each other, especially when both of them were professional footballers and homophobia was still a huge part of football. 

He sighed before he started to jog back to home, his dogs easily passing him while batteling each other. He arrived at his house with a red head and slightly out of breath. He unlocked the door and then tried to make out if there were any sounds coming from his bedroom. Since he didn't hear anything, he decided to take a shower before starting to prepare breakfast. 

 

Just as he was finishing the eggs and toasts, he heard a pair of feet coming down the stairs. „Good morning sleeping beauty. Did you have a good sleep on two of my pillows and with one and a half blankets as your cocoon?“ Eric smiled down fondly at the pan while talking. „Yeah thanks. Waking up wasn't that great though.“ Dele mumbled back.

„Oh why? Did the boys come in.. ? You know how much they like to cuddle so yeah...“ Eric was already adding 'Tell the boys not to cuddle with every visitor' when Dele interrupted his thoughts and said „Nah that was actually really cute but you weren't there when I woke up and your side was already cold and it was just a shitty feeling...kinda.“ Dele bit his lip and looked down at the floor.

„Well I can't help that my dogs demanded their morning walk.“ Both of them smiled at that and Dele shook his head „It's alright. I shouldn't be complaining anyway. I mean, I'm getting a free breakfast and the waiter is only wearing training shorts.“ 

The laugh that followed was loud and filled the whole kitchen. Eric felt himself blush. Yeah right, he didn't want to wake Dele up while rummaging around in his closet so he threw on shorts that were laying around... oops!  
„Well then... uhm yeah... okay I'm gonna change real quick. You don't have to wait. It's getting cold.“ He rushed up the stairs, Dele's eyes following him. He came back in his training gear, sat down and started to eat. Across from him, Dele also took his first bite and smiled at him shyly. 

They stayed quiet until his dogs approached the table, or more precisely: Dele. They sat down next to his chair and looked up to him with big eyes. „N'aww look Eric! They missed me!“ He smiled down at them and scratched their heads lightly. Eric chuckled before saying „Nah mate, they only want you for your food. You're not special.“ Dele pouted at that but his eyes were shining „You wanker. I know you're lying.“ 

They got ready quickly after that and got into Eric's car. „Damn... we're gonna arrive at the grounds on the dot.“ „Well, Hugo'd have our head otherwise. You heard him yesterday.“ The two of them agreed on telling Sonny their plan to help him right away so that they could start immediately. „Okay, we're gonna talk to Sonny first. And then, over the day, you're gonna talk to Hugo, the Belgians and Christian too. And I'm gonna talk to Harry, Danny, Kieran and Ben okay?“ Eric nodded and added „And maybe Sonny himself can talk to all the newcomers and youngsters. They won't be able to say 'No' to Sonny.“ Both laughed at that because it was true. 

After entering the changing room, Dele and him made their way over to Sonny's seat and sat down on both sides of him. They expressed how sorry they were for what had happened yesterday and that the others surely felt the same way. Dele quickly outlined their plan and when he was finished Sonny hugged both of them hard.

„You two are real friends. Thank you! Please don't tell the others but I also talked to the gaffer and he loves the idea a lot. He wants to talk to us tonight and then draw lots tomorrow. But shhhh!“ He smiled brightly while putting his index finger in front of his mouth.

The three of them laughed at that while making their way to the training ground. The first session consisted of warming up, a few games and passing exercises. Eric and Dele tried to talk to their friends but Poch was particularly strict today and gave them multiple looks throughout the two hours, so they gave up for the time being.

When it was time for lunch, they split up so that Dele was sitting with Harry, Danny, Ben and Kieran and Eric was sitting with Jan, Toby, Mousa and Christian. Before sitting down at their respective tables they gave each other a thumbs up. The latter was still racking his brain for a good conversation starter, when Hugo started to talk “Guys, I’m still so worried about Sonny. The way he left yesterday after training was so sad! That’s not how a confrontation should be resolved. We should talk to each other in a respectful manner.“ 

The players around the table nodded. Hugo was the perfect captain and moments like these showed that he cared for the whole team and the overall atmosphere a lot. Hugo went on “And I think we should all come together and discuss the idea again. Yesterday we were tired and in a rush… two things that have a negative impact on discussion. We should take our time when we try again”

Eric smiled and just _had to_ quickly pat Hugo’s shoulder. Without even knowing about the plan he had brought up yesterday’s incident in such a level-headed way. 

Now it was Eric’s time to speak up: “I fully agree with you captain! I think Sonny chose the wrong moment yesterday and when we didn’t take it serious he was hurt. But I thought about the idea again and I have to say that it isn’t that bad after all.” He stopped to take a sip of water. Just as he was about to continue Jan interrupted him. “Sorry to interrupt but I’m still skeptical. I’ve played Secret Santa before and I always had two problems. For one, I didn’t know what to get the person I’d drawn. And then I’d always get absolute shite back. I was always so excited for my present but it sucked every time. So why should I have a good time now?” Toby began to snicker but Eric stopped him by poking his shoulder. _Hard._

“I get you mate! Bad presents and not knowing what to get someone always suck. But it’s different here. We’re all friends here, we’re a _Team_ and we know each other. And we can help each other with shopping for presents. There may be someone who’s closer to the person you’ve drawn so he can give you tips and suggestions or the two of you just go shopping together! Maybe he has drawn your best friend? Who knows? What I wanted to say is that we’re gonna make this into a fun activity for everyone and we’re gonna achieve it as a _team!_ ”  


Mousa was the first one to start clapping and Hugo joined in a few moments later. Toby was patting his shoulder with a smile, saying: “Give it up for President Eric Dier!” and Christian and Jan were also laughing, while pointing out Eric’s red cheeks. He truly hated these guys, really. “Okay stop it! I appreciate your enthusiasm but I’d like to eat now… Without the attention of the staff and all other players on us...”

The others laughed again at that but quickly went quiet. Eric searched for Dele’s eyes from across the room and found his best friend already smiling at him. He smiled back before lowering his head again, finally starting to eat. 

  


\------ _ **This is what happened at Dele’s table:**_ Dele knew how to convince people of an idea, knew how to charm them into thinking his proposal was great. That’s why he wasn’t afraid of being met with disapproval. “Damn Kane! Eating for two today? New baby already on the way? Or are you already tired of training because you missed two shots this morning?”

He laughed while he teased Harry ruthlessly and the boys around the table were quick to join in. “Has anyone of you scored 18 goals in both competitions this season? Anyone? No? Well then stay quiet and let me eat.” That got another laugh from his friends, safe for Harry himself, who could only shake his head with a small smile. 

“Okay guys, listen. I got something to say!” Dele started but was interrupted by Kieran right away “You always got somethin’ to say. Don’t have to announce it mate” “Weeell Kieran, I was trying to get everyone's attention because what I'm gonna say next is really important” Finally, all eyes were on him and he was able to start.

“I’m gonna come straight to the point: We’re playing Secret Santa this year and you’re going to like it and have fun. We’ll make Sonny happy and try to take his mind off missing Kevin. Capito?” He looked around the table and sent his sweetest and nicest smile to his friends. “How much did Sonny pay you?” Ben was the first one to speak up and the others were immediately bursting with laughter.

Dele got serious. “He didn’t pay me anything and he didn’t need to. I like the idea and I think it is great for our team spirit. Don’t you want to have a bit of fun while shopping together and choosing cool gifts? Like... it doesn't even have to be a big present at all. Just something small that shows that you gave the whole thing some thought. It's so easy to make others happy, are all of you really against that?“ 

He stopped and tried to gauge the reactions of his teammates. After all, he had just held quite the rousing „speech“. Harry was the first one to answer him: „Dele, you really made me think. I think I like the idea of giving something back to another player. And I don't care who I'm going to draw. We're a team and everyone got something to give back.“ „Thanks Harry I really appreciate it!“ Dele was weirdly touched by Harry's words and only snapped out of his thoughts as the guys around the table on the other side of the room _-Eric's table-_ burst into laughter all at once.

He heard Toby shout „Give it up for President Eric Dier!“ and started to laugh too. So Eric had been successful as well! Great! Dele waited until the laughter had subsided to search for Eric's eyes. He looked over and was promptly met by Eric's crinkling eyes and faint blushing cheeks. He smiled and Eric was quick to smile back before lowering his head to eat. Dele stared for a few more seconds before turning away, his heart beating a bit faster than before. ------

  


The players all got ready for the next session but Dele, Eric and Sonny had a few minutes to themselves. „Sooo.. how did it go my friends?“ Dele and Eric both told that they had to do some convincing but that it had been worth the effort. They'd gotten the other guys on their side and everyone was more or less looking forward to play Secret Santa.

„Perfect!“ Sonny clapped his hands and told them about the talk he had with the newcomers and youngsters: „It was easy for me. I talked with a few of them during training and then at lunch too. Most of them were already pretty excited to play because it reminded them of the funny things they did at school. And the new players said that it was a great opportunity to get to know each other even better.“

Eric and Dele exchanged a somewhat envious look at Sonny's words. „And maybe I told them about Kevin too and showed them a few pictures“ Sonny's face lit up. „What do you mean by 'a few pictures'?“ Dele giggled. „Well maybe I showed 50 photos... but _not_ more!“ Eric and Dele burst into laughter at that as they held onto each other for support. „Don't try to tell me that the two of you wouldn't do that as well! I know you.“ Sonny said with a smirk.

Poch's whistle interrupted their chat and Eric thanked God for that whistle. They jogged back onto the pitch and were just on time for an 'important announcement' from their coach. „Players, please be quiet. I want to say that I will tell you important information after training. Please don't run away.“ His coaching staff laughed at that and all the players nodded. The training that afternoon was hard and everyone was dripping with sweat after the one and a half hours. Poch shooed all of them into the changing room because „Sweat and cold is not good for you!“ 

And here they were now, 21 players patiently waiting for Poch's announcement. „First I want to say you did good today. I'm proud! And now the news: We are all going to play Secret Santa this year. I heard the idea from my family and I thought and I still think it is a great teambuilding exercise. My wife agrees with me.“

Nearly all of the players were trying not to laugh at Poch's explanation and one or two players had to conceal their laugh with a cough. Hugo had to look at a few of them with a warning look. Absolute children... all of them.

„No one disagrees with me?“ He was a bit surprised at that and couldn't hide it. „No coach“ the team said in synch. Suddenly, Sonny got up and started to hug every single one of them. „Thank you!!!! I love you all!!“ he said before he sat down again.

Poch started to take over again „We will draw the names tomorrow after training. Important is that you don't tell anybody about your person, keep the present simple and not expensive and take everything serious! I don't want to see that thing you use for cleaning the toilet on our Christmas party! And I made my own rule too: Everyone write a little letter where you tell why you choose the present and also say something nice about the person. Do you understand?“

He let his gaze wander from left to right, from one player to another. There were a few whispers shared between some of them but everyone approved of the rules. 

In the parking lot Dele followed Eric to his car. „So you wanna come home with me today? Harry's home tonight and he said he'd like to beat your ass on fifa again.“ Dele asked, sniggering quietly. „Tsk... that boy got to have some sort of selective memory. Last time he dared to play against me he lost.“ „Good one Eric... I think that training didn't tire you out at all. I'm sure I can help you with that“ „You wish Del, you wish.“

Eric quickly shut his mouth after that. _What the everloving fuck did he just say?_ **GOD.** He cleared his throat before rushing away from Dele for the second time that day, this time to his car. „I'll see you at your house! Hurry up!“ with that he got into his car and drove off. 

Dele's car was still gone when Eric parked in front of his house. He had driven extra slowly to calm down a bit but apparently Dele had had the same idea. He shrugged and rang the doorbell, Harry answering the door after a few seconds. „Hey mate! Good to see you.“ he was greeted with a short hug.

„Dele said he wanted to pop into tesco on his way home to get the salted almonds you like so much.“ Eric went red at that, still processing Harry's words. Dele had really gone to tesco to get him snacks? Eric loved his best friend (sometimes). 

The two of them talked about music and Eric then went on to explain the whole 'Secret Santa incident' to Harry. By the end of it both of them were sitting on the sofa, laughing loudly. They heard a key turning and looked up only to see Dele with a full bag in his left hand. „Hey, I'm back. Cool that you're having so much fun without me. Nice.“ „Get your ass on the couch and stop sulking. And don't forget the snacks“ „You only love me for my snacks Harry. At least Eric is nice“ „Nah I'm only here for the almonds“ both Eric and Harry chuckled at that.

Dele finally made his way over and plopped down right between them. „Here are the snacks. So who wants to get his ass kicked first? You choose“ „Del, calm down. Thanks for the snacks by the way“ Eric squeezed his thigh and then started to run his fingers through Dele's hair. Dele sank deeper into the couch and motioned for him to go on.

„Should I leave you guys alone?" Harry asked with a serious expression. „Nah... I just said that I wanna kick your ass“ Dele answered before starting the first game. Eric watched them play a few games before his fingers sadly had to leave Dele's hair to hold the controller properly. He could've stroked his hair for hours and he would've done so happily. 

They went on for a few more hours, till Eric could only keep his eyes open with a lot of force and Dele had already urged him to stay the night. „I would, but I gotta take care of my boys. See you tomorrow Del and see you soon Harry“ He was just about to get out of the door when Dele literally ran into his arms and held onto him. „You do know that you're acting like a wife saying goodbye to her soldier husband.“ Eric whispered. „Yeah maybe“ Dele whispered back before pressing a short kiss on Eric's cheek. Both of them froze and the next thing he felt was the door shutting in front of him. „Sorry... must've been the wind“ he heard Dele's voice from inside. 

"What took you so long, Del. Had to kiss him goodbye or what?" Dele knew that Harry was only joking but right now that particular joke hit way too close to home and he couldn't even muster up a small smile. "I'm just not going to ask anything. But I'm your brother and if you ever wanna talk about it or something... I'm here for you."

Dele gave his brother a warm smile before taking the controller back into his hands. "Let's play a few more rounds" he said. And that was exactly what they did. Dele lost every single game but Harry was nice enough not to comment on it. He just knew when to leave him alone and Dele was thankful for that. He still couldn't stop thinking about the 'incident' in the corridor, but that was a problem for another day... 

Meanwhile, Eric drove back home on auto-pilot, replaying the scene in the corridor again and again. _Why did Dele hug him like it was the last time? Why did he **kiss** him?_ His imagination was running wild, new thoughts and theories forming every few seconds but he couldn't get a hold of them. The only thing Eric knew with 100 percent certainty was that he had a huge crush on his best friend and that best friend did everything to remind him of it _every.fucking.day._

Today had been a long day and he only wanted his bed. And maybe, just maybe Dele in it. 


	3. The draw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm so sorry that it took me this long to write the third chapter! But christmas and my uni application were stressing me out but both are done now so the next chapters should be up much faster. Thank you for sticking around♥ As always, I'll be grateful for every kudos and/or comment!!
> 
> Again, a huge THANKS goes to [JD](https://pummelpony.tumblr.com/) for her help and her great ideas!!♥

Eric woke up with the strong desire to kill his alarm clock and then proceed to sleep for two more days. The thought of having to go out and train pained him immensely and he was really close to call one of his mates to tell them that he had caught some type of an aggressive virus over night and _sadly_ couldn’t come. 

Eric hadn’t slept more than two hours that night. His blanket was hanging over the edge of the bed because he couldn't stop tossing and turning and there was a fucking crick in his neck and it _hurt_. “Stupid Dele” Eric grumbled, then went on and sighed “Stupid feelings”. Why did one little kiss on the cheek make him go crazy? And why couldn’t he stop thinking about these 2 short seconds? What was wrong with him?

While getting ready for the day, he cursed both his brain and this stupid, _stupid_ crush. They were making his life way too complicated! Eric refilled the bowls for his dogs, the sounds of the food mix hitting the metal served as wake up call. He only had to wait a few moments for his boys to arrive slightly panting and wagging their tails in anticipation. Food alone could make them this happy and Eric envied them for that. 

Why couldn’t he just be a dog? Eat, sleep and play around all day, not caring about a cute guy with two legs that looked like sticks, a beautiful face and a laugh that could end… and Eric really, _really_ had to stop right there.  
He sighed one more time before leaving his house and trudged to his car. It was going to be a long day and he wasn’t ready for it – at all. 

The first thing Eric saw as he got out of his car was Dele, who was walking towards him. He was wearing a hoodie that was at least two sizes too big for him, the black cloth looking as if it was about to swallow Dele up. Immediately, Eric had the urge to scoop Dele up in his arms and carry him into the building but he decided for the “cool” answer.

“Well, well, well… what a beautiful uhm… nice surprise to see you in a baggy hoodie. Isn’t it funny that you always give me stick for my baggy clothes but now you wear them yourself? …You actually like my style!!” He poked Dele's chest with a teasing smile on his face. Dele had to laugh at that.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself here, your style still sucks. I was just feeling a bit comfy today!” “Yeah alright… whatever you say Delboy. Now come on before Poch'll have our heads for being late!” The two of them jogged across the parking lot and into the building, where they quickly changed into their gear and got onto the training pitch.

Just as Dele was about to sit down for a short breather, the gaffer and his team stepped on the pitch. “Urgh… I need a break!” Dele said under his breath. “Tough night?” Eric whispered back. “You could say that, yeah” “Me too” Dele looked at him with eyes full of concern “Oh why?” “Too many thoughts, you know” “Yeah me too” Dele answered in a serious voice. The whistle ended their little chat and Eric thanked God for the second time in only two days. 

For the next forty-five minutes, Eric threw himself into the exercises and banned every single thought that didn’t concern training to the back of his head. Dele must have felt that he didn’t want any distractions and therefore stayed quiet next to him. Eric was thankful for that. 

He showered a bit longer than usual after the session and then made his way over to the canteen. 

He got his food and was just about to sit down next to Dele as his best friend pulled out his phone and focused the camera on him “Ohhhh look who found his way here after all. Did the meetings run longer today _Mister President_?” Dele tried to stay serious, but Eric could hear the laughter in his voice and as Toby snorted “Give it up for President Eric Dier!” it was over. Dele threw his head back and started to cackle.

His phone was still recording the whole situation and Eric couldn’t help the smile that was forming on his lips. “Could you stop filming please? I had enough cameras on me a few minutes ago during my weekly press conference with all the reporters” That got another laugh out of his friends around the table and he could finally start to eat. 

However, it didn’t take long for Dele to continue to annoy him by recording a video of him eating. Eric didn’t bother to try and stop him because he knew that Dele would just start anew, so he finished eating with a camera on him and Dele’s smiling face behind his phone screen. Everything was back to normal. 

It seemed as if Dele had forgotten all about their little problem, if he could even call it that. It had been a small kiss and nothing more but even now, with all these distractions, also known as his friends, the thoughts just wouldn't leave his head. Dele was probably just very good at drawing a line under some minor occurrence. 

 

A little while later, Eric was power-napping on one of the couches in the lounge and Dele was keeping an eye on the time while playing video games right next to him. He was woken up by a small squeeze to his ankle. “Wake up Eric. Twenty minutes are over! Come on” “Yeah alright… can you chill?” Eric grumbled. “Are you a grumpy grandpa now? Should I tickle you to get you to wake up?”

A mischievous smile appeared on Dele’s face. “Oh Baby, please have mercy on me…” Eric started to sing off-key and the look on Dele’s face was so hilarious that he had to laugh out loud. “Take it easy on my Hea-“ he couldn’t go on after that because Dele jumped half on top of him and started to tickle him relentlessly. 

He let out a _manly_ squeak at that and tried to kick his friend off. “Dele…” he had to laugh again “P-Please” Eric wheezed. Dele showed mercy and stopped but stayed on his lap. “You have to promise that you’ll never sing Shawn Mendes ever again… okay?” “What do you have against Shawnie? Is it because Justin Bieber is your favourite Canadian? Mhm?” God, he loved himself for being that hilarious!

Dele didn’t seem to think so, as he started to tickle him again. Eric had had enough. In a flash he turned the two of them around so that he was the one caging Dele in. “I could crush you, you know?” “You wouldn’t” Dele answered. “Nah of course not. Couldn't crush the golden boy.” “Fuck off. Now get off of me you lightweight!” “Oh bugger off…” Dele sniggered at that but Eric got up and sat down on the sofa again.

The two of them stayed silent for a few moments. Right then, Eric’s brain decided to replay the kiss from yesterday yet again, so he made a split-second decision and started to talk: “Hey, Del. I wanted to tell you something…” he stopped to take a deep breath, while risking a short glance at Dele’s facial expression, which was somewhere between hope and fear. “Yesterday… your uhm… _goodbye thing._ Like I just wanted to say that it wasn’t weird and if you’re still worrying about it you should stop. And if not, then forget that I ever talked about that.” 

Eric looked up at his friend with an insecure smile. Dele was quiet, which was unlike him. He was just about to scold himself for even bringing up the incident again, when Dele reached out to him. Eric was so used to the gesture that he didn't even have to think before starting their handshake.

Both of them had to laugh at that and Eric's fingers promptly fucked up their supposed movement. “ **OH MY GOD.** You really are incapable of doing the easiest things. I can't believe this!” With that Dele broke their silence and was about to tackle him again when he suddenly stopped himself. 

Dele looked at him meaningfully and Eric prepared himself for another monologue just as Dele spoke up: “Thank you fathead... for you know.” “You wanker! I’m trying to be considerate and you call me that” “But it's my cute pet name for you!” Eric could only roll his eyes at that. He felt better, lighter than just a few minutes before and he could tell that Dele felt the same way. They smiled at each other, both not wanting to be the first one to break the eye contact. 

Their little “moment” was effectively ended by Sonny who stormed into the lounge with a stack of paper and a few pencils. “Oh hey guys! Didn’t know this room was occupied. Am I interrupting something? Should I go?” His smile could only be described as suggestive. “ _ **NO!**_ ” both of them said in unison.

“We can help you with whatever you were about to do” Eric proposed to distract Sonny. Their friend clapped his hands and sat down on Eric’s side “Perfect! Poch said that I should use the time off to make the cards for the draw this evening. So we’re gonna write every name on these little pieces of paper and then put them in a bag. I’m so excited already!! This is gonna be great, I can feel it.” 

Sonny quickly jumped onto another topic and started to enthusiastically tell a story about a spider he had found in his bathroom at three in the morning and then later had to trap in a small jar so that it couldn't have called its friends and invited them over. The story didn't make much sense but Dele and Eric let themselves get infected by Sonny's good mood and enthusiasm and helped him with the cards. 

The three of them talked about their ideal partner for the draw: “I don’t wanna seem rude or something but I hope that I get to buy a present for someone who I’ve known for longer than just a few months… I mean it’s so much easier then, you know? Because I know what these people like, where their interests lie so yeah would be great if I drew Winksy for example” Dele started. “But isn’t it the goal of the whole affair to get to know each other better?” Eric interjected.

“I think you’re both right. We’d all like to draw our friends because we know them but I think it’s part of the challenge to be able to find a good present for every possible draw! That’s why I don’t really care. I can find a good present for everyone!” Sonny said confidently. “Yeah but you’re the master! Us commoners don’t have that much experience.” Dele answered with a smile. “We’ll all help each other then! And now let’s get back to training.” Sonny got up and held out his hands for Eric and Dele to hold onto. 

They nodded and got up to make their way to the training pitch. “Gotta use the loo… meet you downstairs” Dele said before he was gone. Sonny looked around and when he couldn’t spot another person he started to talk in a quiet voice: “I don’t wanna be nosy but you two were so quiet this morning and then after lunch everything was okay again. Did you talk it out?” Eric had to swallow at that. Had they really been that obvious? Or was it Sonny’s talent for observation that had picked up on the small tension between them? 

Still, he had to give Sonny an answer, so he decided to go for the truth. Sonny was, after all, a good friend who could keep a secret: “Well yesterday after training we were hanging around at Dele’s. We played videogames with his brother and it got a bit late so he kinda urged me to stay but I had to look after my dogs so I said no. And he accompanied me to the door and hugged me really tight, kissed my cheek and then closed the door on me. I couldn’t get it out of my head all night, that’s why I didn’t sleep. And during the break today I told him that I didn’t think it was weird or bad and we were both relieved. And that was that” 

He took a deep breath and looked at Sonny, waiting for his reaction. He seemed to be deep in thought. “Thank you for telling me Eric. Your secret is save with me! And maybe we can meet up sometime? Just talk a bit about your… let’s say predicament.” Sonny winked and made his way over to Harry, leaving Eric alone at the edge of the pitch.

 

Well, now Sonny kind of knew about Eric’s crush on Dele and it didn’t even feel bad. He felt somehow lighter, and yes it did sound cliché but it was like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. 

During the short afternoon session Eric was in a great mood, laughing and joking around with his teammates, until Poch had enough and reprimanded him. The stern look he gave Eric brought him back to reality and he did his best to focus on the exercises for the remainder of time. When Poch finally blew his whistle the most players sighed happily. Sometimes, they just were in no state to concentrate on training and this afternoon session had been a prime example. 

Everyone had used the Secret Santa draw as the excuse when Poch had asked them about their problem. Their gaffer had only shaken his head in resignation. Eric had felt a bit sorry after that but then Dele had whispered “It’s like herding cats here!” in a deep, slightly accented voice and that had set both of them off again. 

In the changing room, Christmas music was blaring through the speakers, curtesy of Sonny, who not-so-surprisingly loved everything to do with Christmas. All I Want For Christmas Is You changed into a [german song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2dD65CK6qY) which Sonny knew by heart, performing it enthusiastically: _“Alle Jahre wieder, kommt das Christuskind auf die Erde nieeeder, wo wir Menschen sind. Kehrt mit seinem Segen ein in jedes Haus, geht auf allen Weeeegen mit uns ein und aus.“_

The team wasn't even fazed by Sonny's performance and continued to put on their clothes. “Dele is that Eric's?” Harry, who was sitting next to Dele, pointed at his huge hoodie. “Nah it's gucci” Dele was quick to counter. “Well... but you gotta admit that it could be Eric's! His style's rubbing off on you. Did you two go shopping together or summat?” Harry continued.

Eric, who had been listening to the conversation from a few feet away, chose that moment to join in. “HAH! I said the exact same thing this morning. Harry, I'm gonna tell you right now, I'm positive that Dele's going to steal my style slowly... piece by piece” Harry started to snort with laughter but nodded in agreement. “You're both liars. Leave me out of your fantasies!” Dele got up and shook his head at their continued laughter. 

Poch entered the room with Jesús: “Men! Please sit down and be quiet. Sonny made the cards during break and we are going to draw now. Please remember that you are not allowed to tell the others about the person you draw! We are starting with Ben and then we go in a circle. Okay?”

The room fell silent. One after another the players stood up and walked up to the bag to draw their cards, cautiously opening them to find out the name of the person they'd have to buy a present for. All of them succeeded in putting on a poker face after reading, but a few players couldn't hide their reaction after sitting down next to their team mates.

Some were smiling, some were already trying to whisper something to their seatmate, which was rewarded with one of the gaffer's stern looks, and others were looking quite helpless. 

Eric was one of the last people to draw a card. He got up slowly and walked towards the center of the room, feeling the eyes of his team mates on him. He was a bit anxious and the prying eyes around him didn't make it any better. Eric put his hand into the bag and quickly grabbed one of the remaining cards.

He got up, made sure that his hands were covering the small piece of paper and then opened it carefully, only to find the name DELE ALLI in his own handwriting staring back at him. Eric had to swallow and felt his neck heating up. Cool, really fucking _cool_! The universe actually hated him, he was sure of that.

He sat down on his seat again and avoided a few curious looks, Dele's included. He must look absolutely _thrilled_ , hence all the attention on him. As much as he tried to during the next few minutes of the draw, he just couldn't bring himself to put on a happy face. Of course he was thankful that he hadn't drawn the gaffer or Jesús but Dele was difficult.

And contrary to his words in the [christmas video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VmfXQezQcg) Eric wouldn't just get him something horrible to tick off the problem. Dele was much too important to him to get him something shitty and his own mum would probably hit him for being a rude friend.

Eric's messy and unorganized thoughts were interrupted by the culprit himself. "Hey Eric! Hey! You looked sorta out of it after your draw. Is everything okay?" Dele looked down at him with a concerned look on his face. His eyebrows were drawn together and he looked as if he was at a loss trying to interpret Eric's reaction to the draw.

Eric blinked and was just about to lie and say that he had suddenly felt sick after getting up when Dele's face lightened up and he started to laugh. "Oh my god! YOU! You've totally drawn the gaffer and everybody knows. Should've seen your face... fucking hilarious!" Eric only had to force his smile a little after that. Well... if Dele was that easy to fool then it'd be a no-brainer to hide his new "secret" from his best friend.

The two of them left the changing room and stepped into the deserted parking lot a few moments later. Their team mates and their cars were already gone and it was quiet safe for the bushes around the training ground moving along with the wind which was picking up. It smelled like rain and Eric already felt another small drop hit his nose so it was save to say that the rain would start up again soon. 

Dele walked him to his car. He positioned himself in front of Eric and started to muster him quizzically. "So now you can spit it out!" he said. "Spit what out Del?" Eric had to admit that was a bit surprised by Dele's sudden interrogation. Yeah, Dele could be really stubborn but right now there wasn't any reason to be.

"Who you've drawn. I know that it isn't the gaffer because Danny has him." "How do you know that? Weren't we supposed to keep it a secret?" Eric got more nervous by the second. "We were. But playing by the rules is boooring. So tell me now!" His best friend was pouting now. "Well I don't agree with that in this case. It's much more interesting to keep it a secret." "Oh come on Eric... we don't have secrets from each other. We're best friends!" Dele looked at him with pleading eyes. 

The next sentence left his mouth without hesitation. "That may be true for you but...-" he closed his mouth quickly, his brain catching up to what he'd just said. Dele's expression turned stony and cold. "Good chat, _mate_. See you!" Dele's voice was as icy as his expression.

He turned around and made his way to his car, getting in quickly and then closing the door harshly. Eric just stood there, unmoving. He couldn't get out the words to tell Dele how sorry he was and that he didn't mean it like that. At all! His stupid mouth had just been too quick, his jumbled mess of a brain way too slow to catch up. 

But the damage had been done now, no matter what excuse Eric had on the tip of his tongue. He sighed loudly and got into his car. Of course, Dele's car was gone and Eric just looked at the empty space sadly. **FUCK!** He had really fucked up and that only because of this stupid Secret Santa draw where his stupid hand had to pull the card with Dele's name out of the stupid bag. Eric was already thinking of 100 different ways to say sorry to Dele but he knew that he had to leave him alone for a few hours. Dele always needed that. 

He drove off and immediately turned on the radio. Whitney Houston's voice welcomed him as she started to [sing:](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqAGSKQn0VM)  
_"There's a boy I know, he's the one I dream of_  
_Looks into my eyes, takes me to the clouds above_  
_Ooh I lose control, can't seem to get enough_  
_When I wake from dreaming, tell me is it really love"_  
Eric gripped the steering wheel tighter. Every single person and object on this planet hated him today.  
_"How will I know (Don't trust your feelings)_  
_How will I know_  
_How will I know (Love can be deceiving)_  
_How will I know_  
_How will I know if he really loves me"_

Eric prayed for his car to drive faster. He was paralyzed by the lyrics of the song and as much as he _wanted_ to change the station, he truly couldn't do it.  
_"I say a prayer with every heart beat_  
_I fall in love whenever we meet_  
_I'm asking you what you know about these things_  
_How will I know if he's thinking of me_  
_I try to phone but I'm too shy (can't speak)_  
_Falling in love is all bitter sweet_  
_This love is strong why do I feel weak"_  


He arrived his house, threw his car into park and sprinted up to his door. His boys were already waiting on the other side of the door and jumped up to say 'Hello'. Eric mustered a small smile and ruffled through their soft fur for a few moments before walking straight up the stairs to his bedroom. He threw himself onto his bed before one single sob left his throat. It didn't take long for a few tears to join. He was just so angry at himself!

At last, Eric took off his clothes and got under the covers, immediately deciding that he wanted to stay there forever. Eric felt sleep creeping up on him but couldn't keep himself from checking his phone one last time. Weirdly, there was a message from Dele's brother: _"Eric, pls tell me what happend at that draw. He came home and went straight to his room w/o saying hi. Don't even rmbr when he last did that"_. Eric wanted to cry again. _"i Fucked up. gonna fix this though!"_ He put his phone onto the nightstand before turning towards the other side of the bed. 

Tomorrow was a free day and he was overwhelmingly thankful for that. 


	4. Is it too late now to say sorry?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with a new chapter! Thank you sososososo much for all the super nice comments!!!♥♥♥ They mean a lot to me and they all made my day a bit better! .xx  
> I hope you'll like this chapter and - as always - please tell me what you think about the chapter!  
> There's a big **FLASHBACK** at the beginning of the chapter but I'm gonna mark it accordingly. The friendly I'm referring to in the flashback was played on 13 June 2017 in the Stade de France in Paris.

**\-----FLASHBACK: ******

The English national team was on international break. They were somewhere in Paris and it was the night before their friendly against France. The last few days had consisted of training and bonding time with all the players Eric only got to see during these short periods of the year.

Today, they'd gone sight-seeing for a few hours and Dele, Stonesy, Ross and him had taken a few videos and way too many photos in front of the Eiffel Tower, in particular Dele. They'd also shared two croissant between them, because Stonesy had whined about wanting a real Parisian croissant, diet be damned.

Sadly, their curfew had started at nine o'clock, when the city had still buzzled with all the tourists, students and so on. That also meant that they weren't able to watch the Eiffel Tower light up and flash at night, which made especially Stonsey and Dele a bit grumpy. 

“Damn, I wanted to take a cool picture in front of the flashing tower! It would've been _so_ cool!” Dele was sounding like a petulant child, which was weirdly funny to Eric. “You do know that you'd have to pay for that, right? It's not worth it mate!” Ross added. “And you do know that we make quite a bit of money so a few pounds shouldn't leave a dent in my purse. Thank you very much.” Dele shot back.

“Wowow I think you've had enough young man. Seems like someone skipped his nap this afternoon. Let's go up to our room before the two of you argue about money spending habits like an old married couple!” Ross and Stonesy laughed at that while Dele boxed his upper arm softly and mumbled “Shut up”.

Dele turned away quickly after that but Eric still caught the smile on his face. Hah! They said good night to Stonesy and Ross – at nine and although it was still light outside – and took the elevator up to their shared room.

 

In theory, each of them had one double bed for themselves. In reality, however, one of the beds was already taken by the contents of Dele's suitcase, which were scattered all over the mattress and his clean training gear which was neatly stacked on the bedroom bench. Upon seeing the chaos, a frustrated sigh left Eric's mouth. “You're such a mess mate! I fucking hate sharing with you.” Eric grumbled as he entered the room.

“Chill out Eric... Unlike you I need to see my outfits before I put them on. You just grab a random shirt and a pair of trousers out of your case and you're done. That's why you walk around looking like a slob.” “Ohh come on... I'm so tired of always hearing the same thing over and over. Just because I'm not wearing Gucci sweaters that look like a ten year old on a sugar high designed them? Well I'd rather wear my 'baggy' and 'boring' clothes then.”

The two of them were still mostly making fun, which was evident in the way that Dele tried to suppress his laughter at his answer, but right now Eric was just tired of Dele always using his style to try and rile him up. Thus, he effectively changed the topic. “I'm tired Del... Let's just call it a truce and we sleep in my bed tonight, okay?” Eric momentarily wanted to hit himself for his _Genius_ idea. What was wrong with his brain-to-mouth filter?! Now he had to share a bed with certified bed hog Dele, who also liked to cuddle from time to time. _Great_ suggestion Eric!

“Aye aye captain. I promise that I probably won't steal your blanket... maybe” Dele started to laugh at his own words and promptly jumped onto the bed, where he continued to giggle and to make even more of a mess of their room by trying to hit Eric with one of the pillows. He was such a pain in the ass sometimes. Metaphorically of course.

Eric shook his head, turned away from the bed and got out of his clothes. He was used to sleeping in boxer shorts only but with Dele in the same bed as him, he decided to throw over an old T-shirt. Then, he went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and to get ready for bed. When he came out a few minutes later, Dele was already covered with his blanket, but Eric immediately saw that he wasn't wearing a shirt or a top. Oh well...

The pillows were back in their place on the bed and apparently Dele had also turned down Eric's blanket. “Thanks.” Eric mumbled. “You're welcome. I know that I can be a lot sometimes...” he sounded a bit sorry and a lot more subdued than before. “It's okay Del. My siblings kinda made me get used to hyperactivity... so yeah. It's no big deal...” The two of them chuckled while Eric got into bed too, then quieted down slowly. Eric was thankful for the silence. He let out a relieved breath and was about to close his eyes, just as Dele started to talk again.

It seemed like he was in a mood tonight, so Eric just let him talk. “It's so great to see all these players I've known for years again." Dele started. "It's like we're all back at school for a few days after working in different cities or even abroad.” Eric smiled and nodded at the comparison. Whenever the National Team met up, it just felt like a big class reunion where you also got to meet new people every time. It was great!

 

“And I'm always really happy to see these friends but I'm still glad that we-" ,he gestured between the two of them with his hand, "...play for the same club too.” Dele seemed to be deep in thought, contemplating his next words. “Is that weird?” Dele asked after the silence had stretched on for a few moments.

“No, I don't think so. I kinda know where you're coming from so it makes sense to me.” Eric turned sideways, so that he was directly looking at Dele, who was still lying on his back. Dele's voice sounded relieved when he spoke up again: “It's just that we see each other nearly every day and we _get_ each other after a game because we both experienced it and were part of it, you know? And we have a stronger bond because of it?”

“Why did the last sentence sound like a question?” Eric asked teasingly. Finally, Dele also turned sideways so that they were now looking straight at each other. “I don't know, really. I just feel a bit bad? Although I got... like... no reason to feel like that.” the frustration was audible in his voice and Eric was confused. Dele clearly wasn't thinking right tonight, evident in the way he felt guilty because he had a best friend in the squad. As if it wasn't normal for every players to have a best friend as well. Eric indulged him anyway.

“Well, I think it's definitely right that we have a stronger and deeper bond! And I know that you know more about me than all the other players at this England camp! We're best friends and we just play bigger and more active roles in each other’s life and that's good... I like it and it's not a reason to feel bad at all. All the players here know it anyway. And everyone here has players they consider closer friends than others. That's normal.”

Dele seemed to agree, he smiled and motioned for Eric to give him a high five. “BEST FRIENDS!” he called out happily. Eric didn't even try to shush him. Instead he started to jump up and down on his side of the mattress and it didn't take more than a few seconds until Dele joined in, already laughing in that typical Dele way.

The first pillow hit him without any warning, landing right in his face. Eric needed a few milli-seconds to realize that Dele had just started a fight he was destined to lose. “ **OH,** you wanna fight now, do you? I haven't warned you yet but I'm a pro at pillow-fighting... I have yeeeeears of practise! Just so you know” Eric said in a deep voice. He quickly picked up a pillow and got into position.

Dele just sat down across from him, seemingly unfazed by his threat. “Well, then do something! looks like you're all talk and no action mate. Come on.” That was all it took for Eric to start swinging his pillow right onto Dele's chest. Dele moved backwards, a mischievous grin on his face. He positioned his pillow back in his hands and jumped right towards Eric. Both of them squealed gleefully as they hit each other with their pillows. And that was the beginning of the end.

Ten minutes later, the two of them were all out of breath. They were breathing heavily, both sprawling on their side of the bed, hands touching in the middle.  
Their bed was a mess: blankets and pillows were lying on the floor, the bed sheets were fully crumbled and even a few feathers were lying around. “That was so much fun!” Dele said breathlessly. “From the way we're breathing right now one could think we ran a marathon or summat”

Dele burst into laughter at that which didn't really help with breathing. After finally catching their breaths, they cleared up everything and then got back into bed. Eric was a bit tired, however, he was still pumped up from their pillow fight. Thus, he didn't stop Dele when he started to talk.

“I trust you with so many things. It’s weird, I know, but I feel like you keep my confessions or whatever to yourself and don’t go and blab it to someone else. Even if we were to ever fall out. Which won’t happen if I got any say in it.” Dele stopped for a short break, his facial expression soft and open, a small smile playing on his face.

Eric was still trying to catch up with the sudden change of topic – from pillow fight to friendship talk in less than 5 minutes – when Dele continued.

“And I admit that I don’t open up easily, it’s who I am. Or maybe who I’ve become. And I don’t really want to change it, you know? This whole business can be hard and cruel and I don’t want to give away parts of myself to people that ultimately don’t give a fuck about me and the person I am.”

He stopped again and Eric didn’t dare to interrupt him. It was quite rare that Dele talked that openly about his feelings and his character. The only sound he made was a short ‘Mhm’, an acknowledgement that he was listening, and that was enough for Dele to go on.

“Sometimes I look at people and ask myself: ‘Would you still be there for me if I went back to the Championship? Or even League One? ’ And I know that it sounds dumb but these questions just pop up in my head from time to time. Like, what if I fell down the ladder as fast as I climbed up? People would surely turn their backs on me and cling to a new ‘superstar in the making’ or whatever they call it. And yeah, that’s the cycle that many footballers had to go through. One moment people worshipped them and predicted a bright future and the next moment they faded away, suddenly no longer good and interesting enough.”

Dele’s look was thoughtful and sad and Eric _hated_ to see him sad. Especially when Dele had been laughing only minutes ago. He was also shocked that Dele really entertained the thought of playing in League One at some point. Eric would literally bet all his possessions on Dele not falling down that far.

“Del, I get that you're scared sometimes. I think every footballer has thoughts like that from time to time. And I'm gonna say the next thing as a person who has at least a small idea of football and not as your best friend-” he stopped, because he wanted to make sure that Dele was looking at him, that he knew that Eric was as serious as he could be.

“You're one of the best young players out there, okay? You've won the PFA Young Player of the Year two times in a row now. You've scored two goals against Real Madrid... two. Against record Champions League holder Real Madrid. You've helped your team with your goals, your assists, your willpower and that fire you develop when you play.” Eric held the eye contact although he knew that Dele wanted to lower his head.

“Yeah... but all these things are finite, y'know? People will forget.” Dele tried to contradict with a quiet voice.

Eric shook his head in frustration. Some days, Dele's self-confidence truly reached rock bottom. Today was one of these days. “Nothing is infinite, safe for the universe maybe. So that's a weak argument. And I'm gonna say this only once, so you better listen: I will never forget your achievements, as small and insignificant they may be. Because I see the guy behind it, the guy who practises his shots after training, the guy who always tries to give 100% for himself and for the team. I see someone who's still humble.”

He smiled to himself and decided to give Dele a bit of space, a bit of peace, to just take the words in. Dele shouldn't feel like he had to react right away, thus he didn't try to make eye contact.

“And you always try to embarrass me and we banter like... all the time but I know that I can come to you with serious problems too. I trust you just as much as you trust me and if you ever... you know... feel like you might fall, I'll help you up again. With you know-” Eric laughed a bit before he rolled up the sleeve of shirt and flexed his biceps with a slight smirk.

 

He knew that it was cheesy and dumb, but he just wanted to make Dele feel better and he was willing to go to any lengths. And Eric didn't even want to think about the four-letter word that always fought its way into his mind whenever he thought about all the things he would for Dele.  
No thanks, not interested!

“OH MY GOD” Suddenly, Dele seemed to get back to life. While he had just sat there, hanging his head for the last few minutes, he was jumping now, a small smile gracing his lips. “YOU!” he nudged Eric's chest with his index finger while getting closer. “You are the biggest fucking cheese ball in the universe. I can't believe it... you are so good to me, aren't you?”

Dele sounded awed and his eyes were shining with a light that hadn't been present only a few moments ago. "Well, i gotta make sure that my best friend knows his worth and doesn't keep on thinking he'll go to league one. And tomorrow's an important game! And in the state you were in a few minutes ago... don't think you'd have been able to play a good game."  
"Thank God I got you to make sure I'm okay" Dele smiled sweetly. "You're welcome!" Eric tried to answer in a serious voice, which became basically impossible when he caught Dele's eye roll. "Shut up! We were having a moment here!" Dele said dramatically.

"Who says that the moment is over?" Eric winked and demonstratively got closer to Dele. In a surge of emotions he took Dele's face into both his hands and caressed his cheeks slowly with his thumbs. Dele stayed still and... closed his eyes. He was enjoying this just as much as Eric and he wanted to kiss him really, _really_ bad. Suddenly, Dele moved his head back and the moment was over. Truly over. Eric took away his hands and was just about to say sorry for whatever that has been, when Dele threw himself at Eric with open arms. 

He didn't even think before embracing Dele strongly. The two of them stayed close for much longer than acceptable, but they didn't care. Not now. Maybe the moment wasn't really over. 

Both of them were quiet when they freed themselves from the embrace. They didn't need words right now, the moment much too big and fragile to be interrupted by words. Words which couldn't even express what they were feeling, too small to capture the range of emotions and thoughts swirling through their heads. The silence felt loaded but _right_. They'd said everything in the last hour, even the things they had never told to each other before. 

“Eric?” Dele's voice broke the silence. “Mhm?” “Can you tuck me in please?” “What?” Eric couldn't hide his confusion. He was still replaying the evening second for second and Dele's words had interrupted him. “Can you tuck me in, pretty pretty please with cherries on top?” He rolled his eyes at Dele's request, but – as usual- he couldn't say 'no' to his pleading look. “You're such a big baby” he smiled fondly. Eric sat up, took Dele's blanket and slowly pulled it up his chest. His fingertips touched Dele's chest quickly before they were gone again. Eric tucked in the blanket at Dele's shoulders.

"Sleep tight Delboy" he whispered. "You too, Eric. Thanks again" "You're welcome... _always_ " Dele was already breathing deeply and Eric threw one last look at him before he also closed his eyes and fell asleep. 

**\-----**

Eric thought about Paris a lot, or more precisely, about this particular night. Dele and him had been incredibly open with their emotions and feelings and they had both leant on the other one to sort of verify them. Sometimes, he wondered what would have happened if he had just kissed Dele while he had held his face in his hands. Dele had had his eyes closed, he had trusted Eric to take care of him. And Eric wanted to, he has wanted to since the first time he had seen Dele's sweet and somewhat innocent smile, his bright eyes, his gangly limbs and curly hair. His everything. 

Every nerve inside of him had screamed at him to protect and take care of that boy. And that's what he has been doing ever since. 

They'd never really argued. Yes, they had their small squabbles from time to time but it had never been worse than a few hours of silent treatment. Then, one of them would write or call the other and a few moments later they would be bantering and laughing like before. It was easy and uncomplicated with Dele and Eric loved that.

But this time it felt different. It was now five PM, and he hadn't heard from Dele since he had driven away angrily after Eric's fuck up in the parking lot last night. Yeah, Eric hadn't taken the first step as well, but he had wanted to give his best friend a bit of space and time for himself. That was only considerate. 

Urgh, who was he kidding? He felt like shit and he had wanted to apologize to Dele yesterday evening and now it was the next afternoon. He had waited long enough. Eric got up from the sofa and ran up the stairs to his bedroom to get his mobile there. He found it under his pillow, unlocked it quickly and searched for the number. The call signal could be heard once, twice and then the person picked up their phone. 

"Harry here, who's calling me?" the voice was teasing. "Funny Hickford, really funny. I'm pretty sure you got my number" "Sneaked it from Del. But why are you callin' ?" Harry asked. "Well, I...uhm... I wanted to ask if I could come over." Eric had to stutter a bit. "Dele's in his room. Hasn't come out once today. So yeah... you better get your ass over here quickly. I don't wanna meddle y'know? So just talk it out, okay?" Harry talked in his protective brother voice and Eric could only answer "Yes, I'm coming. Bye!" before he hung up and sprinted to his wardrobe.

Ten minutes later, he was sitting in his car with a small bag of 'nuts and raisins'. Dele loved that shit and the two of them always munched the snack during flights. His heart was beating way too fast and his hands were way too sweaty where they held on tightly to the steering wheel. Eric tried to calm himself down by repeating that it was _only_ Dele. But Dele was not only one of his friends, he was his best friend, one of the few people who knew him inside out. Dele knew his quirks and even his ticklish spots (Dele was the only friend who really knew all of them!) and probably nearly everything there was to know about Eric besides that.

He still didn't know what he would say if Dele asked him about his Secret Santa draw again, but the priority lied elsewhere, so he tried to concentrate on the more pressing issue. Eric was going to tell Dele about Paris, remind him what he'd said that night and then he would say that it still was -and would always- be true. The perfect plan!

Eric arrived at Dele's house a few minutes later, but stayed in his car for a few moments. He took a few deep breaths and then dialed Harry's number. Eric was ready for this.

Harry let him into the house and Eric gave him a thankful smile before he hurried up the stairs to Dele's room. He stopped in front of the closed door and just listened to what was going on inside. A few gun shots and a lot of shouting could be heard through the speakers, so Dele was probably watching one of his series. Eric decided to knock. "Dele! Can I come in?" The sound stopped. Less than a few seconds later, the door was opened. "Oh it's you. What're you doin' here?" Dele didn't sound mean, he looked surprised and also a bit... relieved? 

"Yeah it's me... surprise!" Eric cheered weakly and quickly gave Dele the bag with snacks. "And these are for you. They're, sort of, the first part of my apology." His friend only blinked but took the snacks right away. "Thanks so much... you know what's good for me!" Dele smiled. Eric could only smile back, he was so relieved that Dele was already joking with him again.  
"Now come in before you put down roots in the hallway" "Okay thanks"

Eric followed Dele into his room and sat down on his bed. Dele didn't hesitate before sitting down right next to him. They smiled at each other, albeit a bit shyly. "Okay, now tell me the second part of your apology" Dele said. "Yeah of course. So-" he stopped and looked into Dele's eyes. "Do you remember Paris? June this year?" he asked.

Across from him, Dele looked a bit taken aback, confused even. "Yeah of course, we lost the game. And I remember us having a bit of a deep talk the night before." Eric had to smile softly at the memory. "Yeah... and do you still remember what we talked about?" "Yes, roughly at least. We talked about careers and how fast they can end and then we talked about us, or like... you talked about me and my achievements to cheer me up." Dele's eyes were twinkling and Eric didn't want to ever stop looking at them. They were so mesmerizing that he had to shake himself out of his thoughts. 

"Well I want to remind you of my cheesy words and sort of say sorry with them... for what I said yesterday. Because it wasn't true! I trust you with so many things, you truly know more about me than basically all of my other friends. I don't think I ever told you this, but you're the only person apart from my family who knows all my ticklish spots-" Dele let out a loud laugh at that, promptly leaning against Eric for support. "Oh my god... I might have a few tears in my eyes" Dele demonstratively wiped his eyes before turning his neck to look up at Eric. 

"I've already accepted your apology but you can go on if you want" Dele's words felt like a weight was lifted off his shoulder. Eric felt ten times better than before and he wanted to embrace the whole world, that's how happy and relieved he was.

"I just wanted to repeat my words from that day again. I said that I trust you just as much as you trust me and yesterday you said that you trust me with everything so the same applies to me when we go by that logic." "Yeah Eric, talk academic to me" Dele giggled. "I'm serious!" he stressed again. "I already know that, Eric. I just missed our banter today!" "Me too" Eric answered and there was that tension again, the same that had already been present in Paris. Eric wasn't sure if Dele felt it too and he didn't want to ask.

At some point the two of them changed their position from sitting on the bed to lying on it. They talked about everything under the sun; shared old memories, re-told family stories they've already told and speculated about their future. Their laughter carried through the house and Eric just felt weightless and timeless in the small bubble they'd built for themselves. There were only Dele's shining eyes and his high laugh, nothing else mattered. 

When Harry called for dinner, Dele and him jumped down the stairs together, all while giggling incessantly. The three of them ate dinner together, where Harry gave Eric a happy look and a thumbs up. After dinner, Dele accompanied him to his car and hugged him goodbye. "Thank you for coming over! I had a great time with you... we should do this more often. Just talk, you know?" "Yeah! Let's just meet up tomorrow at mine. We can walk the dogs and I'll cook something" Eric proposed. 

"Yes!!!" was the enthusiastic answer that came back immediately. "You can pick me up tomorrow morning and then we can drive to you after training" Eric only nodded in agreement. They said goodbye again and Eric drove off, Dele waving from the doorstep.

He was already looking forward to the next day.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [Tumblr](http://deledier.tumblr.com/)


End file.
